The "Hotel La Rut" sketches are perfect for a multitude of reasons: the dead-affect flat delivery of both Mark and Scott's characters, Dave Foley's filthy and unrestrained louche (who I can only imagine is a dissipated Pig-Pen), the indolent gasp of shock from Scott at :52, and the fact that Mark McKinney makes one of the most enchantingly beautiful women I have ever seen (something I have discussed at length previously). This is exactly…
There is a cannibal rat ship: A ghost ship supposedly crewed by hundreds of cannibal rats could be heading to British shores, experts fear. The Lyubov Orlova cruise ship, named after a Russian actress, has been adrift in the North Atlantic for the past 12 months. Coastguards now believe the floating derelict, cut loose near Canada in 2013, could be driven thousands of miles towards Britain following the recent storms, according to the Sun.
Here is a Femslash Friday poll for you; please tell me what girl-on-girl pairing we have not yet included in this series that you are yearning to see. I do not yet know how to make quizzes in Wordpress. Maria has promised she will teach me but I didn't feel like waiting until I learned how, so you'll just have to sit still and not complain about it. Just, I guess, tell me in…
Because I cannot resist a sword-and-sandals movie, I saw The Legends of Hercules in 3D this week. ("This guy reminds me so much of Kellan Lutz," I said repeatedly of the actor who played Hercules, right up through the credits when I learned that it was Kellan Lutz). In fact, the further back in time a movie is set, the likelier I am to see it; this is why I am the only human alive to…
Here is the same story about faith and resignation told three ways: once from Søren Kierkegaard's Fear and Trembling, once from the legend of Trusty John, and once from the season-six Simpsons' episode "Bart's Comet."
It cannot be denied that the closer a human being comes into proximity with a plant, the more unlovely and unsettling the plant becomes. This is why it is impossible to trust anyone who owns houseplants; they are unstable and untrustworthy people, and there is something eldritch hiding just behind their faces. Plants are a parody of sentience. They sway passively in the wind while emitting secret poisons and secretly burrowing roots downward to hold…
1. Claude and Eustace have been sent down from Oxford but refuse to leave your flat until they have made their professional debut on the West End, an aim to which your aunt strenuously objects. What do you feed the Empress? If you feed the Empress acorns, select A. If you feed the Empress mash with a nip of bourbon, select B. 2. You accidentally steal the umbrella of a social superior. Do you start a…
Happy Monday and Martin Luther King Day to you all. We are taking the day off; please talk amongst yourselves until your return. Clean up when you're done; use coasters. You can't have any friends over while we're gone. We love you.
You may or may not already be familiar with Caleb Hannan's article on Grantland this week, in which an investigation about the inventor of a new golf putter turns into the outing of a trans woman (who committed suicide before the article was published). It's a deeply troubling article for many reasons -- not least of which, as Rebecca Schoenkopf pointed out, is that the writer was given eight months to report on a putter.
May your Jenny Schecters be few and confined to season one; may they never be allowed within a thousand romantic feet of your Shane McCutcheons. May your theme song be brief and unmemorable. May it sound nothing like this. May your episode titles not all have the same series-title-influenced gimmick. May your use of a blue filter be judicious and restrained and not confined only to bathhouse scenes. May your Dana live to a…
Almost every gay(ish) woman has a Kim Kelly in her past. You met in adolescence; probably in middle or high school, possibly in college but certainly no later. Your lives were deeply and intimately intertwined -- although you may or may not have had an overtly romantic relationship, everyone who knew the two of you knew that for good or for ill that you were one another's top priorities. Your Kim almost certainly smoked cigarettes…
Previously: Before Peter Pan. Things had gotten weird almost immediately. "Spring is a really busy time for me," he told her -- seemingly out of nowhere, as if it were self-explanatory -- a few minutes after she broke the news. "Okay," she said slowly. "What does that mean, exactly?" "I just can't say if I know for sure that I'll be around all the time. Spring is so busy." "You keep saying that," she…
I never know when someone’s on drugs or had plastic surgery, or when a poem is supposed to “really” be about sex even though it’s clearly about plants. I never get metaphors. Everything always has to be explained to me, like Ax in the Animorphs series. I can be counted on not to understand what a song is "really" about unless that meaning is spelled out explicitly; if a song does not contain the word "abortion"…
