Don't ask me why an upscale eyeglasses company is throwing my book a party, because it's as delightful a mystery to me as it is to you. But I'm not complaining. When brands tell me they want to throw in-store parties on my behalf, I don't get critical, I just ask for final menu approval and buy a very fancy skirt. (The menu includes TINY SANDWICHES and the skirt is unreal, you guys.)…

This picture of me with Rebecca Mead? It's the best picture of me I've ever seen. You can't tell that my face is 90% gums and ears, and that I usually lose my upper lip completely when I smile. I'm going to post it every single day until it gains sentience and walks among us. So, as you may know, I went to NYC for less than 24 hours, entirely for the purpose of doing…

We have the downstairs party room at the Penny Farthing, and we'll be there from about 8:15pm until, I don't know, like 9:30? That's when I'll wilt, but y'all may party harder than me. (This is next Wednesday, dudes, as we said earlier! Not tonight! My sitter is sick, I can't deal with you delightful nerds right now.) I will not be doing pushups for you, as my dress is too short, but, I…

And sometimes, Toasties, all I can offer is a sandwich and an honest tea.

The bartender is from California. The bartender is unamused at having to miss the meetup. Angry bartender. So I give you a mostly finished glass of wine and a half-eaten salad.

Everyone else does it, why shouldn't we? Tell us your stories of the paranormal and creepy! Remember, ghosts are totally real and not-real.

We're giving The Bartender a week off (s/he has all those glasses to wash) and taking over Cocktail Hour to let you know that the very first Official Toast Meetup will be taking place in and around San Francisco on the evening of November 4th.