mm yes this anecdote is so much more interesting than my needlework, thank you i hope someone beats you to death with your own walking stick please go on that's very interesting oh, that's very interesting THAT'S very interesting that's VERY interesting that's very INteresting THAT's VEry INteresting i can't reach my book without having to talk to him no, please, drink your mouth must be so…
normal normal normal, everything normal here hello, it's me: normal things are happening, why don't you come a little closer and see how normal things can get…
ok before we start this prayer everyone remember you hate god you hate food you hate everyone in this room hello, God bet you didn't expect to hear from me again did you, fucko…
I do a lot of complicated cracking wise about Western art here at the old Toast network, but this one is nice and simple: There are too many men. The title of each of these paintings is clearly "Too Many Men." The problem is too many men. Enjoy your day.
how about this is this good yes im just going to tonelessly stare into the middle distance for a while but this is good though right yes when a woman starts staring into the middle distance that's how you know you're doing it right THIS WOMAN APPEARS TO HAVE NO NIPPLES HOW CAN YOU PARTY AT A TIME LIKE THIS buddy why would you touch it like that though…
One of the greatest aspects of ancient Greek civilization was the persistent belief that there was nothing women liked better to do than assemble a gang, air their tits out, and roam the countryside beating men to death. This was, sadly, a myth, but it did not stop generations of European painters from imagining what savage bands of female murderesses might have looked like. The Venn diagram of "female devotees of Dionysus who…
John, you'll conduct Percy, you'll be on violin what's my instrument, Papa? your instrument is listening, Mary the greatest instrument of all you don't have to point that so close to me well you keep backing away, silly how are you supposed to really hear it if you keep backing away into corners oh i manage keep playing, i'm still looking dont you mean listening sure i…
oh, a dog! oh. a man. what's got you so happy, darling what are you smiling about? my hat my beautiful hat over there not me not me not me please God not me let him pick anyone but me, not me, not me, not me what i need is a throne so big i can't see any men from it…
"Madam, I can assure you that the top hat is medically necessary. Now please lie still and stop asking me 'and what does that do?' I don't know what it does yet." "Gentlemen, I propose a wager: just for fun, let's see what else we can fit in here." "Perhaps if I propped up his other arm...perhaps that would provide sufficient stimulus to reverse death. It would almost look…
Mummy can't listen to you just now, my darlings Mummy is being consumed by regrets shouldn't we all be smiling, Mother? for the portrait? thats a good idea why dont you tell me what i have to fucking smile about and i'll try to work up the muscles to do it…
oh wow flowers the kind you get from the dirt, for free how thoughtful I SAID, I'll think about it look are we gonna finish this chess game or what mmm idk i kind of already have all the cows i need so i don't really see what i would get out of this well you're too late, Richard I'm a lesbian now WE'RE ALL LESBIANS NOW ARE…
Oh, Christ Anna, he's going to start reading poetry at us what do we do play dead? no that's bears what's wrong nothing's wrong nothing's wrong exactly don't you like the flowers the flowers are fine i guess i just thought there'd be more more than the flowers we have blanketing the party? its fine i guess these are enough i guess its fine if you dont really care about flowers…
okay rule A, don't take off her cloak when she's sleeping rule B, don't touch her hair when she's sleeping i don't care how asleep they are, don't bend over them and stare directly at their vaginas no touching someone's hips just because they're asleep either, that seems like a given…
