Please send your etiquette-based questions to advice@the-toast.net, subject line: “Ms. Proprietypants.” The archives can be found here. I would like your take on a current predicament, even though I think I already know in my heart what I have to do. I'm supposed to be hosting a housewarming party this coming Saturday, to which I've invited fifty or so people. I've been very excited to show all my friends my new place, which is,…
Please send your etiquette-based questions to advice@the-toast.net, subject line: “Ms. Proprietypants.” The archives can be found here. I am a maid-of-honor who cannot afford to throw her best friend (the bride) a shower/bachelorette party. My friend is super chill and not really into all the trappings of a traditional wedding (I am the only bridesmaid), but she did express a desire for a karaoke bachelorette party (in town, no destination disasters.) I would love…
Have you ever felt slightly uncomfortable at a party where you didn't know very many of the other guests? Have you ever told someone "Oh, I'd hate to impose," then stayed for dinner but felt like you'd done something wrong? Put your fears and self-doubts to rest: you are a better and a kinder visitor than Hans Christian Andersen ever was, and Charles Dickens would almost certainly never have immortalized you as a greasy ginger…
Please send your etiquette-based questions to advice@the-toast.net, subject line: “Ms. Proprietypants.” The archives can be found here. Recently, I was traveling with my boyfriend in a foreign country. He decided he wanted to purchase a wedding present for two of his best friends who had very recently gotten married. We went to a lovely department store, and while I browsed in the stationery section, he spotted a beautiful…
Please send your etiquette-based questions to advice@the-toast.net, subject line: “Ms. Proprietypants.” The archives can be found here. I am a big-time, semi-professional knitter (once I sold a thing I made), and have built up a reputation among my friends for making really cool handknit things for my friends who have kids. I enjoy doing it, usually. Recently a friend of mine told me that she is pregnant. We…
I enjoy my job and I like working hard, but one part of employed life really gets me down: I struggle to connect with my co-workers, while they all seem to have found their cliques. The ones I supervise see me as uptight (as far as I can tell); the ones who supervise me aren't that friendly. I feel stuck in the middle, with few confidantes on either
Please send your etiquette-based questions to advice@the-toast.net, subject line: “Ms. Proprietypants.” The archives can be found here. On the subject of apologies, since y'all have been on the subject lately: what's your policy on apologies for epic bad behaviour like 10 years after the fact? I just had a debate about this with someone who suggested it's actually selfish when you contact someone you've lost touch with for…
Please send your etiquette-based questions to advice@the-toast.net, subject line: “Ms. Proprietypants.” The archives can be found here.
I was just reading your column about what to say when someone thanks you and it made me wonder: what are the most polite/appropriate ways to respond to someone apologizing? When it's little things, I've taken to saying "you're good" or "you're fine." I think I picked that one up from a teacher who told
Jen Doll, who you have almost certainly read and enjoyed in your online wanderings, has given the world of wedding attendees a charming and appropriate gift in the form of Save the Date: The Occasional Mortifications of a Serial Wedding Guest. So we talked about it! Hi Jen! I read your book on the plane, and I always love your writing but, you know, it's about going to weddings, so I was pleasantly surprised…
Please send your etiquette-based questions to advice@the-toast.net, subject line: “Ms. Proprietypants.” The archives can be found here.
I'm currently on a Bachelorette Party Planning list and, snaps to Mses. Markowitz and Moss because these emails could have come straight out of their column. The group has elected to go on an out-of-town weekend that doesn't sound like something I would enjoy or be able to afford, so I said no! Easy
I am a smallish woman with short hair who is called “sir” roughly once a week. This usually happens in retail establishments, or at restaurants, or especially at airport retail restaurants - but it’s okay!
Gender is weird, and hair is even weirder - but let’s go through some Dos and Don’ts regarding what happens next.
Please send your etiquette-based questions to advice@the-toast.net, subject line: “Ms. Proprietypants.” The archives (well, this is only the second installment) can be found here.
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I'm sorry if this is a little gross, but it's a real worry I face when I'm someone's houseguest. I often need to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, when everyone else is sleeping. Is it ruder to (a) flush the…
A new feature! Please send your etiquette-based questions to advice@the-toast.net, subject line: "Ms. Proprietypants."
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My flatmate is wonderful in most ways. He's generous, kind, a fabulous cook, and a pleasure to be around. Unfortunately, he also has deplorable personal hygiene. After watching him lick his fingers while cutting vegetables a few times, I have stopped eating anything he makes that is raw. He says he distrusts soap when washing hands. Whenever I…
I'm not usually in the business of telling you not to do things. Follow your dreams, put babies on spikes, whatever. We're only here on this planet for so long, there is no God, all is permitted. We make all this stuff up, you know? Human freedom, duty, etc. None of it is real. We're just trying to paper over the cavernous void that waits for us all. Do not take cell phone pictures of…
Affixed to almost every vertical surface in the modern public ladies' room are helpful written reminders like "Please do not flush diapers, sanitary napkins, or other feminine products." "Place paper towels only in the trash can." "For public safety, please wash your hands after using the restroom." "Dispose tampons here, not on the floor." * It leads one to wonder just what type of clientele these signs are attempting to target. Their specificity assumes a…
