This is not the socialist paradise you're looking for
You’ve probably heard of New Zealand, even if you don’t know much about it. You know it’s somewhere, vaguely, down around Australia...ish. What you do know: it’s a magical land of environmental purity, pacifism, and hobbits or something.
I was going to write a long emo piece about Canada and being Canadian and my relationship to being Canadian, but we've already had such dynamite identity stuff today, I just want to talk a little bit about how it's easier to be a young creative person in Canada than it is here, for two distinct reasons: 1. Health Care: I know! So obvious, so pointless. Yes, health care makes things easier. But, NO, really,…
I hesitated, at first, to even write this. The Nations of the Commonwealth have, it must be admitted, suffered enough when it comes to culinary reputations. There is no need for a pile-on. And they have suffered, at times, unjustly: New Zealand has wonderful butter and lamb. I hold myself second to none in my devotion to sticky toffee pudding. Poutine is a remarkable dish and the Canadians are to be commended for it. The…
My third-generation Hokkien Chinese-Malaysian mum was born in Malaya, three years before its independence from Britain. Having the onerous position of being the third-born child and oldest girl in a family of twelve siblings, she grew up waking at 4am every day, going to the yard, killing a chicken and preparing it for her brothers and sisters. Later, having failed her Malay O-level and thus barred from nursing training in Malaysia, her Commonwealth status allowed…
Canadians have successfully passed as non-Canadians for years. But how successful are natives of other countries at playing Canucks?
What follows is a decidedly non-exhaustive list of non-Canadian thespians stiffening up their facial muscles in order to portray an array of the Frozen People: Mounties, hockey players, fur traders, beer barons, and more.
1. In the 1936 musical romance Rose Marie, American actor Nelson Eddy stars as Sergeant Bruce, the singing Mountie.
I must have smelled the scent of a tomato vine stem at least a thousand times in my life, in so many different places throughout my life, but it only ever conjures up one memory. Standing at the kitchen sink, tearing the sun-ripened tomatoes off the vine, the smell hits me in the guts every time, green, fresh and sharp, yet somehow dusty. It transports me across oceans and back in time, to the garden of family…
One of the many benefits of owning your own website is the ability to arbitrarily declare theme days. Today is Commonwealth Day, and there is nothing you can do to stop us. Have you strong opinions on the Harare Declaration? Do you know how to pronounce "Maldives"? Does it rhyme with endive? How do you say endive? Heartened by The Gambia's recent decision to withdraw from the Commonwealth and stick it to the…
Hi, Three Dog Night. How's it going? Want some -- no, sorry. Sorry. I forgot. Look, I've heard you've been talking a lot lately about the party last Saturday and I'm really sorry to hear that you didn't have a good time. I really am. I just wish you'd come to me about it, okay? I mean...I don't want to tell you how to define your own experience, but it feels like some of your…
Previously from Mary J. Breen: My Sexual Education. When I was a child in the ’50s, one of our favourite card games was Old Maid, the one in which the person with the lone unmatchable card—The Old Maid—is the loser. By age eight, I’d figured out that nobody in real life wanted to be an Old Maid either: no one wanted to be the one left “on the shelf,” the one nobody loved. I’d…
Previous installments of The Toast’s advice column from two disparate and imperfect persons can be found here. Last time: Nails and Aisle-Walking. Hi! I have a bit of a time-sensitive question, but no pressure! It's also probably easy, if that helps? My next-door neighbor's husband died two days ago, in a horrific and sudden way. I've only been their neighbor for about 10 months, we are just hi-bye friends, though we've had a…
Previously: Veronica Brown and the Indian Child Welfare Act. Though she is now a walking, talking preschooler, the headline read, "Baby Veronica Handed Over to Adoptive Parents." On the night of Monday September 23, 2013, Veronica Brown was removed from the care of her biological father and transferred to the custody of the couple who wanted her. The case that started in South Carolina Family Court as "Adoptive Couple vs. Baby Girl," went all…
Anyone can screw up while cooking. You forget the salt. You forget to turn it down to a simmer. You don't read the recipe all the way through, and then you suddenly need a gratin dish or something. It's okay, no big. That's on you, you're an idiot, you move on with your day. But sometimes, the recipe did you wrong. The recipe did you wrong like a man in a Loretta Lynn song. That…
